These days, navigating crypto without significant loss of morals or wealth is like trying to get by on a ship navigating rough waters without feeding the fish (a euphemism for letting go of your breakfast over the side of the boat) 🐟

Story One

No safe harbor 

It’s ironic that over 10 years in, crypto bros favorite app to connect with others is and remains telegram. With a loose grasp of privacy, the app features 950 million users worldwide, making it as attractive a distribution channel as it gets for crypto apps trying to reach people.

Since crypto people have telegram installed anyway, it was only natural that countless builders started creating trading bots and crypto integrations on top of it.

Well, for all those who did not build on The Open Network (TON) network, the party is over. Last week, the telegram leadership team announced that they’d be entering a strategic partnership with the TON blockchain, meaning all mini-apps had to be built on this blockchain or simply find other venues.

Initially started by telegram, the development of TON was eventually handed over to a team of community devs due to regulatory scrutiny. Now, the two are joined back together to bring us more brain-rot games like Hamster Kombat.

Takeaway: If you rely on someone else’s playground for your distribution, that’s on you. Necessity is the mother of all invention - maybe that’s the kick we need to build a crypto-native alternative.

Story Two

Mutiny

If you’ve spent some time in the Ethereum ecosystem recently, you probably know that it’s not a happy audience. Enraged by the lack of positive price action on Ether, the ultrasound money crowd has taken to assault the Ethereum Foundation verbally for their perceived lack of guidance.

The Ethereum Foundation (EF) itself is a paradox. It is an organization dedicated to decentralization but runs like a centralized entity. It was set up to manage the funds raised and ensure protocol development. Its main activities seem to consist of organizing conferences at places you don’t want to visit (Denver) and conducting protocol research.

With the latest big Ethereum upgrade long gone, the EF seems to have lost a bit of its drive and touch. dApp builders feel that core devs don’t really understand the challenges they face since, EF employees don’t even use Ethereum at all.

There’s also the sense that no one is holding them accountable, nor are processes transparent. Funnily enough, something easily solved by blockchain.

Takeaway: At least some good seems to come out of this whole discussion. The EF has set up a multi-sig dedicated to DeFi - took them long enough to figure out that they should use their own chain - and it’s kicked off a conversation around what the vision for Ethereum should be. Hint: 🌐💻

Story Three

Walk the plank

Walking the plank used to be a pirate’s favorite way to exercise punishment. We don’t do this anymore, not because there’s no people who might deserve a bath in the cold North Sea, but because crime is legal now. 

Yes, you read this right.

What triggered this was, of course, the president of the US launching a memecoin. Chances are he was tired of needing to wait until World Financial Liberty built something real.

So he did what any chronically online attention-deprived person with a crypto wallet would do: launch a memecoin.

Fair to say, he had a far reach, and the launch minted a few millionaires in the first days of trading. Currently, the market cap of the coin is under the top 40 coins. Still, those benefiting the most aren't average Joe. It’s the Trump team that holds 80% of the entire supply.

Inspired by that, Ryan Fournier, Chair of the Students for Trump promoted a TikTok coin only to then rug and make $20 million.

Takeaway: If this wasn’t real life and not so damn cynical, it could be hilarious. To the people who consider this a mass adoption moment, it ain’t. Barely any of the wallets holding Trump are doing anything in DeFi.

Fact of the week: Speaking of the North Sea, while its beaches might not be as pretty as Australian, we do have the largest unbroken system of intertidal sand and flat muds covering 1,143,403 ha here. It's called the Wadden Sea. If you need a break from Crypto, watch The Silence of the Tides - capturing the vibes in this unique natural UNESCO heritage site.

Naomi for CoinJar

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